Too much to ask

I am really pissed off you know when it's my birthday all I do is run around trying to please everyone else making sure where I want to eat is where everyone else want's to eat too it's never where do you want to eat it's Everyone else want's to eat here is that cool well if it's not your just a spoiled brat so suck it up we can eat anywhere 364 days out of the year but on your b-day we want to eat where we want to eat. Oh well you have plans on your b-day then the hell with you we will grill out and make sure that we make food you really don't even want to eat Happy Friggin Birth Day To YOU!

This is what get's under my skin when I ask someone where they want to go for there b-day or what they want to eat for there b-day i don't say no i don't want to eat there or eat that....I eat what they want where they want b/c it's one day that they have and if they have plans I don't hold that agenst them I know that they have friends and family I wait till it's convient for them but can I get the same in return never I half to take the one day just for me and make sure it's all about you tooo.

You get your day and mine and if I say anything about it then I just don't deserve anything at all I'm just spoiled and selfish to want one day my damn day to do what I want and you know what if I celebrate my day with more than one person then who gives a shit if my one day turns in to more than one at least know that I was happy for more than one day geese but you can't give that to me can you no it's just too much to think that I could actually be happy. SO IN CONCLUSHION I JUST GIVE THE FUCK UP HAVE MY CAKE AND EAT YOUR'S TOO BECAOUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU DO YOU BUY MY CAKE AND YOU EAT IT THEN I BUY YOU ONE AND YOU EAT THAT ONE.

FUCK ALL YOU BITCHES I BOYCOTT MY OWN DAMN B-DAY NEXT YEAR MY B-DAY IS OFFICALLY CHANGED TO JUNE THE 7 THAT'S WHEN I WILL GET MY DAY AND YOUR NOT FUCKING INVITED. SO WHEN MY B-DAY ACTUALLY COMES AROUND THEN I CAN LET YOU HAVE YOUR DAMN DAY AND NOT BE SO DISAPOINTED.

Marrage

you know it's said that every lil girl dreams of there Wedding day dreams of their perfect Wedding....You know that I was never that girl it was never my Dream nothing I ever thought of....a few years ago I though about it funny I never gave it thought until I was at least 23 something every girl is to want....it's never been me I've never been the one to live happily ever after with 1.5 kids a picket fence and a lil dog named toto....I have been the one on the outside looking in....the one in be back yard of mom's house or dad's house or grandma's house looking at the kids who's mother and father were in the same house wishing it was something I had...no matter how bad it hurt....Maybe I'm scared that I will never be that mother I will never have that husband....but Marriage is something that I just didn't accept for me...To think that it could be possible is so inconceivably unfathomable so insanity not right it scares me to death...I think that the problem is in my family the step after marriage is Divorce and just wonder how long it will take before I half to go through the next step...funny my dad is alone, my mom has often told me that she understands why it's better to be alone, both grandma's are alone...and both grandpa's are alone thought I don't talk to ether one of them...So it seems that to break this chain of alone i would want to get married for It would seem I'm scared to be alone but maybe I'm scared of it all alone.....together....failure.....devorce.....pain....everything that could come but everyone tells me it's up to me to break all the chains...but how do i know if I'm breaking chains....if I'm building them up just to be torn apart...if I'm just holding on to nothing to keep the chains from breaking while loosing myself....if I'm creating new chains how do we know if what were doing will be fruitful or a disaster...I don't know but fear of it all it all I know now looking to me to be different to change it all it's that just setting me up to fall........